Free Spirit

This week we were asked to find a quote and write about it…. I am currently writing a paper and preparing a speech on body image.  I have been obsessed with body image and food since grade seven, it consumes my every second of every day.  I will always have a problem with food, I personally feel that food is the root to all evil.  But I found a quote that was originated in the 1960s when Twiggy was introduced, "You can’t be too rich or too thin."  I have been researching everything assoicated with food for years, and I think this is a very true statement.  Body image is socially constructed by society and for years thin has been in, setting unrealistic expectations for what beauty is, and some (including myself) have taken extreme measures to try to attain this look.

I’m not one to complain, I am very blessed, always had a roof over my head, food on the table, and an amazing family.  And of course I have always had God. However. since this semester started I have been having breakdowns almost daily.  To say it shortly, life and adulthood is not easy.  I know school is hard, but this semester is by far my hardest semester, I’ve had extremely overwhelming weeks in the past, sure.  But this semester is different I am doing schoolwork from sun up until sun down.  I have two introduction courses that I kid you not, the teachers are teaching at grad levels, if I was an incoming freshman I would have not had the tools to take them.  On top of that, my hours at work got cut so I’m barely getting my bills paid so I’m in the process of looking for a second job, but then I will have less time to complete my overwhelming school load.  My release of stress is the gym, everything evaporates when I’m running but tonight in the middle of the gym I started crying and couldn’t stop.  I’ve had to miss out on family events this semester and it’s starting to take a toll on me because I will never get that time back.  Once again I am not one to complain, but isn’t blogging an outlet to vent, and sometimes it just feels better to write out what your feeling.

6 quirks about me…..

1.My job requires me to answer all phone calls; however, I never answer my own phone..i strongly dislike talking on the phone.. I think last month I used 12 minutes

2.I am very shy and socially akward

3.I was the girl in high school who woke up 3 hours before class to get ready, but I did win "most Girlie" for senior bests…. hard work does pay off!

4.I only take showers in the dark..preferably in the pitch dark

5. One of the most disgusting words to me is commitment, I cringe saying that word. I am very against relationships

6. I am obsessed with food. I think about it every waking moment, I hate food.  I avoid eating in public, and once in grade 11 I made my friend pretend my bottle of water was hers in front of my crush.

Well, this is my very first blog entry.  I’m a college student, aspiring to get my 4 year degree in Social Work, for class we were required to set up a blog, so I apologize in advance if I bore you.   The question that was asked of us was, "why do you write?"  On some level, everyone writes almost every day.  I write at school, at work, doing my homework…. I took the class "Creative writing" because I enjoy writing… to an extent.  I don’t enjoy research papers or technical writing, I just like putting my thoughts and ideas on paper.  Writing is a healthy way to release anger, to put in words what I’m feeling.  I feel bad because we are studying poetry right now, and I may be worse at poetry then I am at math, and I barely passed intro to algebra, eeep.  My mother and I have always had an up and down, roller coaster, relationship and I have wrote her well over twenty letters expressing my feelings.  (I always tear them up) I love her and she is my best friend but it makes me feel so much better to express it, even if it’s just to myself.